Time to think
by MissWritingStorysObsessed
Summary: He knew he should have gone with her, kept her safe... but whats done is done, now it's time to think and plot revenge. Changed rating!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Flashbacks are in Italics.

**Time to think is time to replay.**

"_Is there anything I can do to help, do you want me to come with you?"  
"No, this is something I need to do on my own."_

He shouldn't have let her go in there by herself!  
If he went in with her maybe he could have saved her...

Maybe if he had been with her then the team would look him in the eye.

"There was nothing you could have done." Was their repeated sentence. He never believed it, there was so much more he could have done.

He hated himself so much.

"We all have to move on.." We can't move on, how can you say that?!

He saw her lying there, he could do nothing.

He was trained to help people in need, help to protect people.

How come he couldn't help her?

She said she needed to do this by herself but, he should have followed her, even if he hated her for the rest of his life, he should have god damn followed her...

"_Ok, if your sure." _

"_I am sure, I will be fine. I need to do this, but I need to do it on my own."  
_

What they both said playing in his head like it was on repeat. He couldn't remember the rest of the day, couldn't remember things he usually could.

Couldn't drink himself to death as his card number had been pushed out his brain and been replaced with thoughts of her... thought of how he could have helped her...

After spending hours sat in his cold and dark apartment he figured out the least he could do was go and see her.

Arriving at the place he needed to be he walked in the direction of the place he knew she was.

Room 339.

Spike walked to Winnie's room, he sat and held her hand...  
Praying for only two things, he father be arrested, and for the love of his life to come out of the deep sleep she was put in by the man who attempted to blow her up...

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Want to Review and tell me what you think? x

Really quick and short. Hope you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

Aw, I was called 'The Queen of Short and Sweet' That actually made my day!  
Yeah, if I write long chapters people seem to get board,  
I hope you like this chapter, I have no plan or structure to this story, I am just gonna see where it goes So keep reading, and if you can please review!

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**Lost.**

He lost himself in thought.

Mainly thinking why...  
Why?  
Why would a father do that to their child.

"_I never got on with my farther."  
"All the more reason for me to come with you."  
"All the more reason for me to sort this out by myself."_

He couldn't stop the anger boiling up inside of him.

He turned to look at the sleeping beauty laid still on the bed. Well still until she began to choke, she was waking up, Spike hadn't ran that fast in his life trying to find someone who could help..

Minutes past, as he was stood outside of the room where nurse's crowded his hopeful future wife.

The team came speeding round the corner, Jules with Sam and their little girl, Ed with Sophie, Greg and his future wife then Leah walking behind.

"She's awake." Spike said, not wanting to look them in the eye. The team had forgiven him, and seemed to have said it a hundred times.

Spike still knew they had a small amount of hate and anger towards him, even thought they didn't.  
However Winnie was the only thing that mattered to Spike.  
The past was past, but it was always going be in the back of him mind.

The only words Spike heard the nurse say was 'You can go see her'  
he didn't let her finish her sentence, Spike sat in the same seat her had done for the earlier hour he had been in her hospital room.

"I am sorry." He said almost without knowing it, she was half awake but he knew she would be scared confused, all he did was say that one thing and held her hand.

Hours seemed to pass, every time Spike took his eyes off Winnie for just a few seconds the clock seemed to have moved forward an hour.  
The team seemed to come and go, asking questions that Spike couldn't answer, his mind trained on only thinking about her, Greg squeezed his shoulder giving him a knowing sign that he had the support of his boss.

Everyone seemed to have come and gone by this point.  
Ava came to see how her carer was doing before tell Spike 'she would give them a few weeks along' she was 14 but he was in no place to make decisions for her.  
He heard something about her god father, but his mind focused on her like it had been since this all began.

"You don't need to be sorry, I love you." She said as her eyes began to open her voice quiet shaky, and sounded like she hadn't spoken before.

A lone tear left his eye as he kissed her hand.  
She was awake, she was alive, she was ok.  
He was glad, he wouldn't leave her now, but he would get revenge... and it wouldn't be pretty.

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Still short and sweet, but I hope you still want to read on,  
Thank you for following, actually can not believe how many people have actually followed, you have defiantly made my day! It was the best start to a new year!  
Thanks guys x


	3. Chapter 3

I thought I would just update it as it is, and then add some more if you guys like it  
Thanks for all the help and support, you guys are amazing!

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**2 parts to a short ending.**

_Nothing seemed to be real, it seemed so fake, so different._

_She was laid on the floor, blood covering her beautiful face and turning the once cream, clean carpet, a dreadful colour._

Spike woke with a start, cursing himself for almost waking the sleeping beauty next to him.

"Oh god." He breathed, he woke up scared half to death most of the time since Winnie left the hospital.

His revenge mission still there in his mind.

The team had tried to talk him out of what he wanted, but he couldn't see any other way, some people feel ok with their attackers going to prison, not Spike, he wanted to made him feel the pain the Winnie had felt, truthfully Spike's calm and composed mind had got lost, and he had changed.

"He needs to die." Spike said without even thinking.

"Maybe he does, but he is still Winnie's dad." Spike turned on his heels to see who the voice had belonged to. He was happy to see he wasn't going to mad.

"Spike, you don't know what their relationship was like before she met you." The voice said again.

"Can't have been much better..." Spike said, not moving but keeping an eye on the figure stood near the door.

"They couldn't be apart, Winnie worshiped him, and still does, yes he hurt her but you don't know why." The voice said, meaning in the voice, the door opened making Spike looked up.

"Do you know what happened?" Spike asked moving to stop the person from leaving.

"Yeah, and it's something you and your team can't fix." The voice said, sadness in the voice. The door shut behind the figure.

Winnie stood just out of sight, but still so she could hear, tears streaming down her face, now silently crying, what was said was all true, she had never told Spike, and what she did tell him was a lie, was a horrible lie.

She looked over at the bed, walking over slowly and as silently as she could she lifted he pillow, that brought a photo into view.  
A photo that would show a lot of people who Winnie was, and why what happened put her in a place, she never thought she would be...

Spike wondered around the living room, debating whether to tell Winnie and the team, or whether to tell anyone about what he had just been told.

After spending ages pacing up at down, Winnie emerged looking tired, but she was still the most beautiful woman Spike had ever laid eyes on.

Both of them never mentioned the person who had spoken to Spike.

Well that was until the next day.

"Winnie, I need to talk to you..."

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So no idea, how I will continue – Massive thanks to 'Riveroad'!  
Please review, x Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, so it seems some people may get confused, so I am uploading this now, because I feel bad, for not explaining. So enjoy!

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Winnie looked up from what she was doing, looking Spike in the eye.

"I spoke to Ava." He said bluntly.

"I know, I over heard you talking." She said looking down.

Suddenly her felt like he couldn't be trusted.

"Sorry I didn't tell you, but none of it made sense..." Spike began.

"It won't, because it confuses me!" Winnie said with a small laugh in an attempt to make the situation better.

"I just want to help you." He said not quiet looking her in the eye.

" I know you do, and that's why I fall in love with you more and more each day!" She said walking a little closer.

"The past few days have been a mess." He said voice cracking just a little.

"I know, but I believe it will get better, and so do the team." She said not understanding how much pain it brought him to hear the tear 'the team'

"There not angry Spike... They were in shock, so were you, they don't blame you for what happened to me, and I certainly don't!" She said a lone tear leaving her eye.

"It seems like they hate me, and from what Ava said, I feel all alone, like ever one knows you but me!" He said turning to walk around aimlessly.

"He hurt me because he was disappointed in me." Winnie whispered.

Spike stood for a moment wondering if her heard it right.

"Disappointed?" Spike said looking at her in disbelief.

"Yeah, he never said why, Spike I know you want to hurt him but please don't." Winnie almost begged.

"I won't, If it's what you want." He said as she nodded.

"Sort things out with the team, please. I can't bare to see all of you so distant." She said looking at the photo on the fire-place of her and the team, just a little while before the massive BBQ the hold each year.

"Ok, ok." He said giving her a reassuring smile.

Winnie took a deep breath, kissed Spike and walked away knowing he would do as she asked of him.

"I love him.." Winnie whispered to herself as she walked to the room they shared.

Spike wasn't sure on what to do next, going for a walk seemed pointless as he always ended up outside Winnie's fathers house, the only other thing on his mind was making up with the team.

That was it, messages were sent, phone calls were exchanged until they finally came up with a time, tomorrow at 11, SRU headquarters, for the first time, Spike finally felt happy.

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Ok, so, The end chapter will be after this one, but I really can't think of an ending right now!  
Hope you like reading, please leave a review if your up to it x


	5. Chapter 5

Chasing pavements. 

[Takes place 2 weeks after last chapter.]

Waking up at 7 for the first time in months.

Finally being able to leave her on her own.

Be able to get on with the job.

Having his friends back.

"Morning beautiful."  
"Morning."  
"Breakfast?"  
"Please! – Do you have to go in to work today?"  
"Yeah, but I wish I was here with you!"

She smiled, feeling loved.

He smiled back before kissing her head.

Upon leaving his home, he said 'morning' to neighbours he never really spoke to, gave the little girl who lived upstairs a hug so she could go to school feeling loved, he stroked the door that sat outside the building every morning, no one knows who he belonged to, but Spike always petted him!

The journey was okay, traffic was ok, and the radio actually played some decent music today, it looked like it was going to be a good day.

As much as a good day can be.  
"This is Mr John Camden, Winnie's father"

"Sorry, but I have work to do."

Spike walked past, without a sideways glance, walking past his team leaving them in shock, disgust and amazement.

"You going to talk to him?"  
"Yeah Ed, cause that would be smart."  
"Sorry stupid question!"  
Spike looked at him and smiled, what was he meant to say to Winnie's dad, the one who beat her!

"Come one, well help you through it!" Greg said, stood waiting for the 2 men to walk through the door.

"What can we help you with?" Spike asked sitting next to Greg who was at the head of the table.

"I want a few things cleared up." Came his, simple reply.

"Like what?" Jules said, looking at him with a blank expression.

"This matter should be discussed between myself, my daughter and Mr Scarletti." He said giving Jules a harsh look.

"I am sorry, but we can't let that happen." Ed said coldly.

The older gentleman got up to leave.

When he got to the door, he looked at the group of people who looked happy to see him go.  
"You may be able to protect her now, but you can't save Winnie from her past."

At this point some of the team were angry, but Spike, he just felt like getting to the bottom of this, would be like walking down a path that doesn't end.

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Okay, right I am going to carry this on, I think, should I carry on, or leave it there?  
Please tell me!  
Thanks for reading x


	6. Chapter 6

My Point, There Evidence, Your Explination.

'Miss Winnie Camden, brought in at 2:30 am with head injury and difficultly breathing.  
Mr John Camden arrested for asult on his daughter 3 days later.'

Spike read the file Winnie handed him, re reading every libe just to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Why did you let him come back?" Spike asked.

"The next page." She said, not looking at him.

'Miss Winnie Camden, sent to Phych ward 27th April, after watching her father try and save her mothers and best friends lives.'

"Thats why you can leave him." Spike said not taking his eyes off the page her had just read.

Wanting to read on but scared of what he would learn her closed the file and looked at her, no facial expression to give her any hint of how her was feeling.

In a small whisper she finally spoke up, "He couldn't save them, It was my 7th birthday."

"Thats the point you made in court so he wouldn't go down for child abuse."

"The evidence was somone left there video camera one."

"I just can't give you the full explination, he abused me, then instead of saving my mum her tried to save my friends." Winnie said dryly, looking up knowing how bad that must sound, but whenever it came down to it, she would chose her mum over anything!

"Then you need to find an explination, because I am trying to help you but I can't. I don't get why you are still with him, he abused you then didn't make any attempt to save your mother. Winnie, you told me she died in a car accident and that 1 of your friends died of cancer, and the other 2 drowned." Spike spoke trying to remeber all that he had been told.

He found himself sat in the break room when Jules came in, the small figure getting closer.

"Winnie told us.."

"Wow, at first she didn't want to tell me and now she's telling everyone!" Spike said, anger taking over for a short minute.

"She's trying to make a mends Spike!" Jules said sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, I know."  
"Good, because she loves you, and I know that you love her to!"

"Jules, thanks for the support, but right now. I can't love a liar..."

Winnie watched him leave, not wanting to speak, but needed to say so much.

Point : They were both in love.  
Evidence: The many night's they has spent together.

Explination: N/A

Hope you liked please review, may d a sequal may add another chapter, not sure yet x

Thank you for all your reviews! Love you all!

MissWritingStorysObsessed! (Bethany)


	7. Chapter 7

So thank you for all the review, I think this is my most successful story, So might carry it on! Thank you so much x  
If you have any questions or are at a loss as to whats going on, please feel free to PM me  
from Beth. x

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**Where do we go from here?**

Everyone at a loss, so confused, not even Greg could form words let a lone a sentence, all of them of the same intention at making the couple smile.  
"It wasn't meant to end like this." Jules said, still in shock the two people who loved each other so much had never been separated.  
Just months ago Winnie was laid in a hospital bed.

"If I had of gone with her, she wouldn't have been in hospital, and non of this would have happened." With one sentence the team had heard what they were dreading, the Spike that blamed himself, and the Spike who was now at a loss with his own mind.

The room was filled with Ava's sympathetic smile moments late it was clear she had heard what had happened more than likely from Winnie.

"Winnie called, how you feeling Spike?" She asked taking steps forward for a young 15 year old she really had a lot of confidence.  
"How do you think." He shot back, not turning to look at her.  
"I know stupid question right, Spike." Ava said knowing it would get a re action.

Truth be told Winnie had lied to everyone to protect her father.

"Maybe she's not who we thought she was." Ed said, sadness in his voice.

"It was all an act." Sam said finding sudden interest in the floor.

"I need to know the truth." Spike said, for anyone who was listening, not knowing the point as he had left before anyone could talk back.  
Months ago they had been so close.  
Months ago Winnie was getting better and their love was growing stronger.  
In a matter of weeks, Winnie's past had come back to haunt her.

Knocking on her door, she answered all most immediately, like she was expecting someone to be there.  
"Spike, I didn't think you would come." She said letting him in, like nothing had happened.  
"Neither did I, and I don't plan on staying, I just want to know why?" He said, she knew full well this would happen.

"I needed to protect him, I can't let him go down for this Spike." She said.  
With that Spike began to leave.  
"Please..."  
"No, Winnie, why are you covering for him?!" He shouted, before the truth came out.  
"Ava!" Winnie screamed, tears streaming down her face.  
"What?" Spike said face turned to a frown, confused by the woman who was now in a state.

"Ava, she's my daughter, and mt dad is her dad, he abused me." She said in a rage.  
However Spike still heard it loud and clear.

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So, hope this is okay Sorry it's short!  
I do know where i am going with this, and if it turns out like the version in my head it should be ok!  
Feel free to PM if you have any questions! Beth x


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry if this upsets anyone.  
If you have any suggestions on who this story should end, please tell me, I will be more than happy to see if I can add something!

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**No fairy tale ending.**

Spike heard everything.  
Winnie stood, crying not turning to look at them.  
Moments later Ava was in sight, with the rest of the team.

"Spike, maybe you should give Winnie a few minutes to get herself together." Greg said breaking the horrid silence.  
Ava moved towards Winnie slowly, like if she moved any faster she would fall through the floor.

"She can have all the she likes." Spike began.  
He walked slowly toward her, and kissed her for what they both thought as the last time.  
"Sorry, I hope everything works out for you."

He walked out, followed out by the team.  
"I want to be alone." Spike said coldly before walking off. The team stopped and nodded, waiting for him to leave so they could copy his actions moments later.  
Maybe Spike wasn't the person he was a few years ago, maybe love does hurt like a bitch.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into half a year.  
Spike had pushed everyone away, left his old life behind.  
His cousin had come from his home town but got pushed out as soon as her arrived.  
The team had tried to talk to him, but he handed in his resignation as soon as he left Winnie's – effective immediately.  
They said he could have his job back if he wished... That troubled Spike a little to know he had been gone nearly six months and he could go back if he wanted! There was no doubt in his mind, that Greg and Ed had something to do with that.  
Ava had even tried to get a few words out of the bomb expert, but left after a short time.  
The last he heard on the girl was that she wanted to go in to care, well that's what he had heard Jules say when she was shouting outside his door at 6:15 this morning.

This was the first time in six months he had just laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of past events.  
After dragging himself out of bed, getting showered and making his bed, so to him, it looked like he cared about him home... which someday was questionable, he managed to leave his room.

After walking aimlessly not planning on doing much today he then arrived in him living area, to his surprise his boss Greg was sat looking right at home.

He turned around looking down the hall, wondering if he was seeing things, then looked to the door to see either the chain had either been broken or hadn't been locked last night.

"Something I can help you with Boss." He was well aware of what he was saying but calling him Greg just wasn't right.  
"I have waited nearly an hour for you! You going to make me a drink?" He asked as if he were his father. Spike moved towards the kitchen, as he began to ask why he was here.

"So, why are you here?" He asked flicking the switch on the kettle and grabbing 2 cups from the shelf.

"I wanted to know how you were, and I thought you might want to talk to someone, I know you don't want to talk about Winnie, but she is doing ok." He said, adding the last bit knowing that he would want to know.

"Thanks but I don't need to talk, I am fine." He said waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Really?"  
"I am fine, she lied and I got over it.." Spike lied.

"That's a lie." Came the reply of his boss.

"How would you know?" He asked turning to face the man who had broken into his home, and who he was now losing his temper with from the way he spoke.

"Face it Spike, you still love her." He said before he began to leave.

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So what do we think?!  
Should I do more?  
You guys are amazing for all the reviews!

If you want to see a certain ending PM me, or write it in a review, and I will try to sort something, I am assuming you want them to be together, but I would love to write a twist (yes, another one!) So, do you think you could help me?x

Beth xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Hope you like it, more details at the end, Please keep reading, you guys are my life right now!  
Most of you have PM me, or reviewed saying you want them back together! I am working on it, I just wanted to drag it out a bit longer 3**

Cheers Guys x

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**Making the first move, should be left to the victim.**

'The rope laid on the floor next to his cold and still body...'

Spike smiled, same old same old, the movies on his tv had now grown to bore him, and well he couldn't really do much, he had nothing to do.  
Well apart from think about Winnie that was.

Winnie sat in her daughters bedroom, brushing her long tangled hair.  
"What's going to happen?"Ava asked quietly.  
"Well, you have 14 days to make up your mind, if you want to go into care or not, then it will be taken from there." She said quiet happily, she wanted Ava to have the best life and right now that wasn't with her.

"Ok, thank you." She said as her mother smiled and left almost running.  
Walking into the dark, cold living room, she turned on the radio, that was hooked up to her Ipod. Listening to the music she began to clean up the house, before calling it a day, looking at the clock 11:24.  
Maybe she could call Spike?  
He wouldn't be asleep this soon would he?  
Well it was too late now, the phone pressed to her ear.

"Hello?"  
"I miss you."  
"I know."  
"Sorry."  
"I forgive you."  
"Thank you."  
"I love you."  
"I love you to."  
"But somethings can't be."

Her world there and then came crashing down. Things would never be the same.

You trembled like you'd seen a ghost  
And I gave in  
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been  
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide  
I wonder why  
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into  
But you never tried  
I've fallen from grace  
Took a blow to my face  
I've loved and I've lost  
I've loved and I've lost

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same  
It will never be the same

You left my soul bleeding in the dark  
So you could be king  
The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything  
The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold  
But the mountains will shake  
I need to know I can still make

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same

And as the floods move in  
And your body starts to sink  
I was the last thing on your mind  
I know you better than you think  
'Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning  
Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces  
So watch them fall with you, in slow motion  
I pray that you will find peace of mind  
And I'll find you another time  
I'll love you, another time

Explosions...on the day you wake up  
Needing somebody and you've learned  
It's okay to be afraid  
But it will never be the same

So, I am not sure when I will update next, having a few problems at school  
So, I really hope you like this, I am working on getting them back together, so please don't stop reading, It will happen!  
The song is Explosion by Ellie Goulding!  
I was listening to it and could picture this happening!  
So, please review!  
Beth x


	10. Chapter 10

Flashback of a forgiving nature.

Spike sat on the hospital chair, the same one that he had sat one god knows how many months ago, only this time Winnie was awake, Ava was gone and the team where surrounding her bed, but he was still sat outside, on the same chair as before.

"You should go talk to her." Ed's voice came.  
"I can't." Spike said not moving.

"She needs you, she's just lost everything else." Ed told him before he left without another word.

Spike got up from his seat near enough 1 hour later.  
Everyone had gone, they all said something, probably with no meaning but he never listened it all seemed like mindless muttering to him.

Walking into the hospital room, he felt her eyes on him.  
"I killed her."  
"No, no you didn't." He said moving to her side pulling into a hug so she could cry.  
"I don't know what I am gonna do." She said, pulling away a little, she had waited so long for him to hold her again.

"You'll figure something out." He said backing away to sit in one of the chairs near her bed.

Only a few hours ago Jules was on the phone to him, telling him..  
'You need to come to the hospital now, it's Winnie.'  
Only when he got there did he realize, her house had burnt down, and taken the young girl with it.

"Spike, please stay with me." Winnie asked.  
"Can I tell you something?" He said in reply. Winnie nodded in answer.

"Why don't we start again, out love started here. The past months have been hell, why can't we just start over?" He asked her, after going over his explanation in his head.  
"I love you."

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Okay, so really short, I know, but I am thinking this will be the end, short and sweet, Not sure I can do much more to this.  
Please tell me what you think! X  
Beth x


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